On The Acquisition of Faith: The Thesis & The Antithesis

Listen to: Time – Hans Zimmer

I seek consolation in times of distress. I cannot find it, if it ever was attainable through being sought. There is a havoc of thought processing, reprocessing, and de-processing in my head. The dialectic makes no sense, all threefolds of it. My problem with reality has never been any less than its mere existence. I am aware of the oxymoron I am suggesting; I am what makes reality a reality in a sense, but I wish for it to cease existence. If reality were to be the thesis, then fantasy, or what basically can never register as a reality, is the antithesis. Where then, lies my synthesis? In the mind, perhaps, the cradle of thoughts. But the fire that broke loose in my head cannot be tamed, and my thoughts are gone, gone, gone.

You know when you’ve had too much to drink when breaking fast during Ramadan, and you feel like your stomach is about to explode before even eating? Well, that is how my brain feels at the moment. Except, I haven’t had anything to drink, really. I only dipped in a sea of questioning that led me to here. Again with the where is here redundant question that I seem to find no answer for. Here, in a sense, is where I question the notion of learning, and wonder why the educational system does not teach us how to un-learn. Of course, I do not believe in the infrastructure of such ideological state apparatuses, but they seem to control society just like Althusser once said they do. I don’t need a Marxist to tell me our educational system is flawed, though. I kind of got that on my own.

What most of us do not realize is that ignorance is not bliss; awareness is. We are cradled into fear since birth, and are taught to never give in to our questioning, whatever it maybe, as long as it defied the collective thinking. I keep coming back to my middle school religion classes because they were the most influential in my learn-your-religion stage. I was told to never question existence of a holy power because it would lead to doubt, and doubt is blasphemy. Isn’t it ironic that we are taught to have rock-solid faith (as if faith can be taught, that is), but when it comes to rock-crushing questions, we are asked to avoid them, instead of being taught on how to tackle them? What I wasn’t taught in my learn-your-religion stage of my life was that it is okay to question. It is okay to reach out beyond this collective bubble and pop the hell out of it, excuse my french. It is okay to understand the antithesis in order for the thesis to make sense, or no sense at all. I was never taught to examine my rock-solid faith and see just how solid it is. In order for synthesis, the linchpin, if I may, to be found, both the thesis and the antithesis must be equally sought, understood, and experienced. Only then one could make a choice, rather than belong to a system by force.

But no. This is haram. That is 3aib. No, don’t do that. Astughfur Allah, don’t say that. For one, can we please separate religion from tradition? No, we can’t? Oh, yes. My apologies. I ask, what is wrong with being given the freedom to fly out of the nest if we have the will to come back? To fly away does not mean to leave the nest. It just means, hey, I want to see what’s out there but this, this is home, and home is where the heart is; I carry it deep within. I don’t need you to teach me how to have faith. You can’t teach people how to believe in God, and most certainly should not force them. I will not get into the debate on whether belief is innate or acquired, that does not concern me. Instead, what you must do, as media, as schools, as communities, and as all these ideological state apparatuses, is provide one with reasoning, proof, debates, facts, science, religion, all of it, and then set them free. Their faith is not yours to carry; it is theirs, and they know best. Not you.

I think I stopped making sense. Making sense is overrated anyway, or so one my Facebook statuses says.

the_dumbass_

The last two and half years of my life were non-stop research into our ‘system of faith’. It’s interesting the things I found when I read the history, rather than the religion itself. Interesting but very alarming. Because libraries were burnt down and scholars were crucified over the course of 1400+ years. One has to be extremely careful, it’s a dangerous journey.

I found that many of the things we learned were based on “hadeeth da3eef”…, and one has to ask WHY did we learn this?

I was surrounded with teachers who were ok with questions that were out of the norm, but they always seemed to have answers. Lately, I found that ALL those answers were WRONG. Unverifiable speculations at best.

I sometimes think it’s a very unfortunate coincidence that I was born a human. Self-awareness is not an unbearable burden.
http://profile.yahoo.com/34JYTTEJT33ZALAAGESOW4RSKE jah m

As a Muslim raised in the West I am glad I never had to listen to this cultural garbage. My Islam was authentic because I could question it and the imams would actually answer me, there were Islamic philosophers and historians to address my concerns from childhood. Nobody could shame me into religion because so many Muslim youth were ‘misguided’ anyone interested in their faith had to be treated rationally and reasonably. Everybody knew saying shut up and listen was a turnoff.

Ironically when I turned 15 my parents moved us to a ‘Muslim’ country to shield us from the Western influence among other reasons. I never questioned my faith harder then living there in that Middle East country and being forced into cultural submission has made me a fair-weather believer with a lot of questions still. People were total hypocrites. The so called religion classes were a total joke. The teachers would have turned anyone off Islam. The worst part was that Muslim students were learning Islamic history from American/English textbooks, it boggled my mind how many didn’t know Tariq bin Ziyad, the Prophet’s companiaons, Saladin, the Ottomans or even modern day thinkers like Muhaammad Abduh etc.

They didn’t know the meaning of ISLAM which is to surrender one’s will to God WILLINGLY. It was to let go of the notion you can control everything, to acknowledge yourself as weak and frail. You submit your ego for this belief and it must reflect in your actions. You acknowledge your sinfulness but you repent and move on living life in an alternative carpe diem.

Islam is honest about Allah, he is unknowable. He is ineffable. He does not need us, we need him. All evil is done from our own hands. One of the tiny strings of faith I have attached is when I see on tv the Syrian people, the Palestinian people, the Afghan people, the IRaqi people call to Allah, they have faith in Him. They know in that moment shells are falling, the earth shakes that Bashar and those who cause it are not God and they will have to answer like pharaoh before them. They don’t despair, they have faith and when I see that I cry. Allah tests us. Some more than others. There will be justice, in this life or the next and “Indeed after every hardship there is ease.” Islam is a universal message, how can it be universal if you tie it all this baggage of culture, or doctrine, or projecting your desires on it? The Propeht Muhmmad has a beautiful Hadith about a man who is starving in the desert and come across food and he is so joyful he says “Indeed God today you are my slave and I am your master!” When we as Muslims turn Allah into our backup for telling others off or fighting we are blaspheming more than this man. Our making God suit us (both for liberal anything goes or conservative follow me or burn in hell) is the ultimate blasphemy. The essence of Islam is to submit to the Almighty, to live a life of faith in hardship and to strive to make the world better. No one has any excuse if they are breathing.